10 Things Moms Love To Talk About On Facebook

These days all it takes to shock someone is to admit to them that you are not on Facebook. It’s the quickest way to cause a room full of people to gasp and look at you like you have three heads. You could shout “Bomb!” on an airplane and evoke a lesser response.

Your high school crush, that kid in preschool that used to eat paint, your grandma — it seems everyone is signing up and logging in daily to share the minutiae of their day to day life with 800 of their closest friends and family members.

Facebook has also quickly become one of the easiest ways to document motherhood. Here are the top 10 things mothers love to do on Facebook:

1. Wish our children a happy birthday
Too bad Tommy can barely walk and he definitely can’t read your status update.

2. Brag about our child’s achievements

Your six month old can speak in full sentences and your kindergartner can write beautifully in cursive? Better post that on Facebook, stat.

3. Overshare about our child’s bodily functions

Size, color, frequency, odor — much to the dismay of our childless friends, moms love to dish on the things found in their child’s diaper.

4. Change our Facebook image to a picture from our latest ultrasound

Why not change the name of the site to Fetusbook? It’s catchy, no?

5. Post pictures of our children doing mundane things

“Look! Little Danica is staring out the window.” We could tell you about it, but some things are just more interesting in the photo format or, you know, not interesting at all.

6. Tout our parenting fails

Second night in a row your kids are eating take out instead of a healthy meal? Post it on Facebook, sit back, and wait for the reassurance that you’re still a stellar parent to roll in.

7. Update the world on our cervical dilation

Anyone else have a friend that gave an up to the minute play-by-play of their labor and delivery? “The baby is crowning” is a status news feeds could do without, in my opinion.

8. Hijack the posts of our friends with parenting wisdom

Your pal without children posts that she needs a nap. Quick! Let her know she should enjoy the sleep while she can because once she has kids it is over.

9. Talk about the wine we plan on drinking after the kids go to bed

Because all moms love wine, right?

10. Post pictures of our filthy children

This can be adorable when the filth is spaghetti or cake or mud, but it can also take a turn for the disgusting. I’m looking at you moms who share those diaper blow out or feces as an art medium photos.

Thanks, Moms. Facebook wouldn't be the same without you.

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10 Things Moms Love to Talk About on Facebook